home stretch

Today was bittersweet, as I imagine the next week will inevitably be. I can't imagine leaving. It breaks my heart that I'll be halfway across the world from these precious little kiddos. It seems like I only just arrived here. I've been missing from this blog the past few days because I've just been focusing on the task at hand. Getting my work done, spending time with the kids, enjoying time with the girls here, trying to forget about the fact that my time here is almost done. I'd be lying if I said that I didn't look into changing my flight to stay here a little longer. I do have 60 more days left on my visa, after all. (Mom and Dad, if you're reading this, don't worry. The $3,000.00 cost to change my flight is physically impossible for me so I'm coming home soon, whether I like it or not.)

Rather than moping and whining about not wanting to leave, I want to share some photographs that I was blessed to be able to take the other day. The little girl in these pictures is seeing pictures for the first time of her forever family.

I can tell that these next fewmonths are going to be full of questions. After a moment like this, I couldn't help but feel that everything that I do is somewhat trivial. It'll be good to get home and so amazing to see my family but I've come to the decision that I'm going to have to make some moves. I don't know exactly what they'll be but after being here and working with these kids, everything else seems pointless. It seems selfish almost. Do I think I'll be here? No, but I don't know. All I know is that the cause of orphans all over the world has won over my heart and if I'm meant to devote my life to them, it'll happen. God works in mysterious ways. I don't want to figure it out right now, I don't even want to think about it. I just want to continue to soak it all in and give the rest of my days here to Him.

I feel like even this post in itself has been very disjointed, that's just how I'm feeling though. I knew coming here that I'd be leaving a huge piece of my heart in China. I did last time, and that's why I came back. I just didn't know that it'd feel like.... this. Not exactly sure what it is, I'm sure I'll figure it out soon enough though.

xo, e.m.